Today was a battle with emotional eating; I wanted food but I was not hungry. I wanted the soft comfort of salty and sweet and creamy and crunch…all those things that make me feel “okay” with the world, even if it is falling apart. I am actually doing very well these days, but I think that the fall out of last week is that I am still wound up and emotionally vulnerable. Solution? Food coma.
NOT!
But it is hard to fight those urges, because they are not about hunger. They are about needing and wanting and desiring and looking for comfort. Nervous eating, comfort food, call it what you will: it fills a void that nothing else quite touches. Unfortunately.
Of course the bonus here is that on SLD, it is only about the emotions. Before the craving came from both a deep emotional need and an unstoppable physical force, which together were undefeatable. Which is to say:
Today I drank my ACV/fruit juice mix all day until I got home; then I ate 10 trisket crackers and two ounces of cheese; and then I ate a “burrito salad” with beans and rice and veggies, along with some chips. About 2/3 of a can of hard cider when I got home.
That was the complete tally of what felt like an uncontrolled binge, so I suppose I can only say: Thank goodness for SLD!
I think it does not help that I am drinking at night; I suspect this is also affecting my huger impulse, which seems over the last week to be coming up much stronger in the morning. While I drink an startlingly small amount, I really need to cut it out. I do it to relax enough to fall asleep, otherwise I toss and turn for hours, so I need to look at an alternative sleep aid. Once I fall asleep, I’m good to snore, but the tipping point has been elusive for the these last few weeks. Stress’ll do it to ya every time!
