Diet vs. Way of Life

No one who has tried to lose weight has missed this message: losing weight is about lifestyle changes.

Yeah, got the memo, thanks.

Which is the famous reason diets fail: they are short term solutions to a long term problem. Or you could say they treat the symptom, not the disease. Whatever you want to say, the fact is that (except in extreme cases) being overweight is a condition borne out of an unhealthy lifestyle.

What is most often missed is not the fact that the lifestyle needs to be changed (FIND me a dieter who doesn’t know that, I dare you), but that the changes need to be habits the person can live with FOREVER. Got that? FOREVER. So if lo-carb works for you, great; just know you will be lo-carb until you die. Ditto Weight Watchers. Doesn’t matter the “change”, it has to be doable for the individual.

Bodies are amazingly adaptable. Honest. You can fine tune them but really, they put up with a hell of a lot. The issue isn’t about your body, it is about your MIND.

Or, my mind, rather — and I’m mental so hey! Fun for the whole family.

I’ve tried every diet, or at least versions of them. But what it boils down to is doing something I can live with. I’m not just talking about taste or calorie count, but how well it fits into my lifestyle. I’m not much of a cook, so any diet that relies on every meal being whipped up from scratch in the kitchen using three pans and fourteen ingredients is doomed to failure. I’m also a creature of habit, so I tend to eat repetitively; I know, not ideal, but there it is. That is who I am.

I also LOVE vegetables and fruits, and can (and have) lived without meat for years. I also love cheese.

So I’ve gone back to what I know and love: juicing, salads, and low-intake of refined flour and sugar. In the mornings I juice or make a smoothie; I also juice veggies and take that too work as lunch. Sometimes I’ll take a bit of rice to eat as well, or once in a while forgo the juice for a bowl of soup, but that’s it for variety. Dinner is now centered around salad, with a sandwich or pasta/rice side dish to fill it out.

Overall this isn’t rocket science. But I’ve spent the last year drinking beer, eating ramen noodles and junk food. So this is a sea change, yes; but it is also one I can handle long term. I still get the rich and unhealthy things I love — cheese, pasta, chocolate — but mostly my diet is fresh fruits and veggies.

I can live with that.

Plan, plan, *fail*

I have not failed to plan, and today things will go as I want them too, but what happened this morning is an excellent example of how simple things can get off track.

Right now my schedule is to finish coffee/breakfast by 10am, drink my sugar water SLD dose at 11am, and then have lunch/snacks post-noon. I do not drink coffee at home. I generally get up between five and six am, write, work out, make ‘breakfast’ (which, when I bother with it, is juice or a fruit smoothie; I generally do not eat solid foods in the morning, it does not set well with me). I drink the coffee when I get to work. Ah, but today, the coffee was not ready when I got in, so I did not make my cup-per-usual. Then I got distracted by “office emergency!!!” so it was an hour before I made coffee. Now it is 9:45am and I am just now sitting down to drink my coffee. No way will I be done with it before 10:30am (I am a sipper, not a gulper). And if I get distracted again, as I am prone to do, I won’t finish my cuppa until 11am, and now everything is an hour behind.

This is not a problem today, thankfully, but what if I had lunch with co-workers on the schedule? Well, I could skip the coffee (nooooooooooo!!!), gulp it down (owwww, hot hot hot), or skip the lunch date (bad politics).

I don’t think people ‘fall off’ the SLD wagon because it is complicated but because they simply get sabotagued by life’s pratfalls. Of course the answer is to plan ahead, and that does help; now, I KNOW I’m already behind, and can make adjustments. My first run-through last year? I was floating along, not paying attention, thinking “Oh SLD is so SIMPLE I can’t screw it up!” but I screwed it up BECAUSE it is simple. Easy to overlook, take for granted, and not account for. That is the dangerous part.

This weekend I plan to weigh in for the first time in about a year. Give me strength.

Day 52: The “Lost Week” of KimBoo

My emotional crisis of the week before did not settle like I thought it would. It took off and dragged me behind it like a ripped parachute. I did not update my journals, go anywhere, play racquetball, or do my homework, and I even skipped class on Wednesday. I am usually the retentive type who normally would NEVER in a million years skip class short of being held hostage by a secret government agency. But I did. I also drank too much.

But somehow: It’s all good. I’m okay. It was not a “crash and burn,” it was a “turn left you damn idiot! Turn left! Before you crash! Left! Left! Left!” It was a life lesson that, for me, was about ten years overdue. It was not easy to swallow. I am mad that I put myself through this at all. :::whack head on desk; repeat ::::

And I am ecstatic that I finally got the message.

I did manage to stay on SLD, but not in a regimented way. My schedule got tossed to crackers and I took my SW when I remembered it, which was often late in the day. The success here is not that I did not melt down – ohhhh yes I did! – but that I did not run back to sink my emotions in food. I drank too much beer, but that amounted to about one a night (what can I say? I’m a cheap date…just ask my husband…). My system still hit “full” when I ate and there were a lot of “take home” boxes piled in the fridge from our meals out at night. I also managed to get up and jog every morning and even make it to my crappy job during the day. As far as emotional breakdowns go, this was a “save.”

I have not weighed, though. I’m not that brave!

But today I am back on schedule. I’m writing journal posts, emailing some worried friends, and taking my SW at about 10:30am as per usual. I’ve made this a juice-fast day as I think my body needs a day off from excess. I went for a long trail run yesterday and this morning I jogged as usual. I’m confidant about my life choices and I know that I will lose weight, get healthy, and follow my dreams. What more can you ask for?

Day 37: Almost Cool!

As is usual, I somehow skipped Saturday. Didn’t even do SLD yesterday due to…uh…well, I just didn’t. Was not too hungry and spent most of the day working on homework. Met Husband at Ruby Tuesdays for a large salad (love their salad bar!) and could only eat one plate full; usually I clear 2 ½ plates, which even if it just salad, still counts for a lot of calories. But I got full and stopped before the first plate was even cleared. Ate a 6” sub for dinner and generally chilled out for the evening.

Got up today and went for a run. It was almost cool out! As in, below 80 degrees! Lovely! Did a trail run in a small park near home, which I only do on days when I run late enough in the morning for it to be light out. It was nice. Took my fish oil caps but that was all. Mostly I spent the day doing homework. Bah! Tonight we are going out to the club for some dancing time, I hope. I plan on having a few beers and relaxing, and not worry about food or school or anything. A night out! Almost makes me feel like a kid again…

Day 33: Weigh In + TOM + Nick Frost

This morning I clocked at 203.2. No surprise there, my TOM just started yesterday so I knew I’d go up. The amazing thing is that I started this at 207, and so even with bloat I’ve not retrograded too much. Last night I wanted some chocolate (well you know, it’s a girl thing) and I had about seven dark chocolate M&Ms out of a small bag, and then stopped. I did not stop because I felt guilty or ashamed or because I was consciously trying to “diet.” I stopped because seven was enough. I did not feel compelled to eat any more than that. I wanted a taste, I got a taste, and I was satisfied. If words could express how incredibly amazing that fact is, I would write them.

I’ve been on SLD for a month. What an life-changing experience! I want to stand out on a street corner and hand out free copies of Seth’s book. While I have not lost a huge amount of weight I am FREE of the crazy cravings that used to rule my world, when it came to food, and if I could give that gift to the many miserable overeaters/bingers/cravers of the world, I would! I hope this blog might serve that purpose just a little. It cannot be enough.

On that note: Nick Frost. I love that man. Adore him. He’s the guy who plays lovable Sgt. Butterman in Hot Fuzz. He was in Shaun of the Dead and has done several Britcoms, usually but not always with his pal Simon Pegg. If you’ve watched his career, you know that he’s gained a lot of weight over the years. It is obvious that he was born to be a bear of a guy (yummy!), but still, his weight gain is noticeable and alarming. I keep thinking of John Candy. I wish more than anything I could send him SLD by telepathy; I don’t need him to be a twizzle stick, but I want him to be healthy and live a long time. He’s a fantastic comedian and a handsome man who needs to make a lot more movies. Please, Nick Frost, try out SLD. Save yourself for us, your fans. Not to mention maybe your family and friends?

Oh, bugger.

Day 32: Work Week Blues

Oh, how I hate the “day job” thing. I really do. I am working hard to get out of it, but those are plans which will take time and energy to come to fruition. Meantime I’m stuck as a day laborer in the florescent halls of mediocrity. The only bonus to being a working stiff is that it forces (nay, ensnares!) me to a schedule. Weekends are all about flux; weekdays are all about regimen.

Which is to say, today I am back on track again with SLD. Last night I slugged a few tablespoons of oil in the late afternoon (after racquetball) and that kept my hunger down all evening. Here is another peculiar advantage to SLD that you may have missed: the avoidance of food poisoning! Husband ate the movie theater popcorn laden in that fake-butter-oil, and said it tasted rather odd. Now, oil can go bad and at the local IMAX theater I do believe that could happen (never been to impressed with the management of the place, although the kids who work there are nice). Anyway he ate about half the bag before deciding something really was wrong with the popcorn, and and not him, and for the rest of the night he was bordering on bad-news food poisoning reaction. Me, full and lacking any appetite, had not even a nibble of the popcorn, so I was spared! Just remember that next time you go out to eat and everyone else wants to buy the 100 pc. hot wings tray!

Today is a “down” day of mostly juice. A long day — work, then class until well after 9pm — and then bed. I did get up this morning (and on both Saturday and Sunday too!) to jog, so that part of the plan is going beautifully. I do think I’m going to have to figure out how to cram some yoga in, though; between jogging, racquetball, and sitting at a damn desk all day and night, I’m becoming very, very stiff. Limber is good. I miss limber.

Weighing in tomorrow. Stay tuned! (although my TOM is due, so I’m apprehensive…)

Day 30: Killer Lasagna!

Today, in keeping with most weekends, my schedule got totally FUBAR’d. By the time I was making my SW, Husband was up and cooking breakfast (he IS the Egg Man! breakitondown). Then we were out running errands and then playing racquetball and then eating a big plate of lasagna while watching to rest of the awesome old Britcom, Spaced. So ya, I ate two helpings of pasta and had two beers. Very little bread, though; and honestly, I wasn’t able to finish breakfast that morning anyway, and it was just two MiKE MackMuffins (Husband’s version of egg-on-english-muffin). I did get hungry by dinner and while I ate two helpings, they were smaller sized portions. I don’t think it has to do with “lingering” AS from doing SLD, I suspect it has more to do with a stomach that has actually shrunk in size.

Overall, and okay day. Nothing especial to report. Up early tomorrow for my jog and to get the laundry done (we have to go to a laundrymat to do it. UGH!). And more racquetball! Yeaaaa!

Day 27: Busy!

This will be a short post. Mondays and Wednesdays I have work from 8-5 and then race to FSU for class from 7-9:30 and by the time I get home, I’m beat.

Not much to report anyway: the AS on my new xylitol routine is still incredibly strong. I have to remember to ingest something (food or my juice/ACV mix) in the afternoon or by evening I am righteously starving, which is not good. The practice of trying to remember to eat is foreign to me, so I’m doing a bad job of it. Used to be, I had to remember NOT to eat. Hahahahaha! Anyway, I did have a small meal for dinner (1/2 of a burrito) and it was totally filling. Tomorrow morning I weigh in; as usual, I dread it. But dangit, I just know SLD is working, so why am I so worried? Oh, that’s right, I’m laden with phsychological damage from years of mental self flagellation about my weight…

Day 23: Breaking the Pattern

Eh, weekends are a pain. While I truly hate my job and wonder where, oh where! is my trust fund, weekends are a free for all and my careful schedule of SLD dosing is thrown off track. Usually I can work around, but today, I got sloppy. By the time I realized my planning was flummoxed, it was 12 noon and Husband was on his way home from work soon. Not having any idea when we would eat, I forwent the drawn out process of sipping SW and took 2T of ELOO. I also never got around to taking my fish oil caps later. Harumph. The AS was great all day, and while I think I ate more than I normally do, I was still free of cravings or ravenous hunger. All good.

And as I mentioned in an earlier post, I am not experiencing stress-related hunger. I mention this because money is tight; Husband and I are not the best at sticking to a budget (eh, we suck, actually…) so as the savings dwindles and the school fees mount (we are both in college full time right now; he’s getting his A.S. and I’m pursuing both a second bachelors and a masters, yes at the same time) and my dreamed of trust fund remains MIA, I am becoming very nervous. Money is a historic sore point for me and I can be very immature about it. I know, I am the master of my fate; still, I seem to bow down before my neuroses more often than not. I think as things stand financially, I am very blessed not to be trying to stuff my face all day. That fact I put at the feet of Seth Roberts and his SLD plan. Thank you, Seth!

I am most pleased in life about my exercising these days. I am hauling my arse out of bed every morning for a jog, 35-45 minutes long depending on my strength that day, which is a real triumph for me. Especially on weekends, where (as I may have mentioned) my schedule is thrown off track. I have nonetheless been getting up early on even the weekends (miracle!) to jog. Also, we are playing racquetball about four times a week, and I am finally seeing some progress in my game. Husband, who is a good player, still whips me in every game but I am making him work for it these days, where he used to just cakewalk through it. My resting HR is down to 62, when this time last year it was 90. All in all, my health is improving a lot! That makes me very, very happy.

And in a strange moment tpday, I thought about what cool outfit I would wear for our annual family portrait when I got down to my goal weight. Somehow I think I am beginning to believe I will get down to that weight, as in, for real. Wow. That is a major mental shift for me.

Day 21: Cookie? What Cookie?

Yesterday is the first day I did not post here at my SLD blog. I was at work then at college class and then staying up late working on our business plan; please forgive me!

It was not an exciting day anyway. A “down day” of mostly watered down fruit juice ended with ½ an apple and ½ cup of lima beans for dinner. Wooooweeee. The AS was in high gear so I was not very hungry, and even when I was, I was not craving anything. In fact Husband bought a whole bunch of yummy cheeses the other day and there they were in the fridge, waiting for me, but I was not waiting for them. Even after a full day of watered down fruit juice, all that sounded good was the apple with lima bean chaser.

Today I was physically very hungry by lunch, but upon eating my rice&beans mix, got full quickly. I was also “gifted” a bag of premium salt and vinegar potato chips left over from an executive luncheon. These are my absolutely favorite chips: kettle style with salt and vinegar flavors. Usually I can down a whole 1lb bag in a sitting and these small lunch size bags just annoy me (as my husband says, “just enough to p!ss me off!”). Today, I ate half the small bag and threw the rest away! Yes, again I threw food away. I mean, total craziness.

I was also gifted a large (humongous!) cookie from the same lunch. It looks good, but I have yet to touch it. Here, my habits are in hard battle with my new feeling of satiety. I’m full, stuffed even, from my 1 ½ cup of rice&beans and the ½ bag of chips. Really, really full – I swear! But mmmmmm I do luv me thoz cookeez. It calls me. Somehow I cannot bring myself to write the words “I will not eat it” even though, at this rate, I won’t. Some part of my twisted mind feels obligated to eat it (“It’s a gift! It’s a cookie! What’s the matter with you?!?”) yet my body is feeling like Clint Eastwood (“Go ahead, punk…you’ll puke!”).

Well, I could just sneak the cookie back out into the “freebie” box in the kitchen area. The gifter need not know that the giftee (me) passed the buck. I could do that.

This is life on SLD: Giving away the cookies you don’t want to eat!

p.s. the cookie is sealed in a plastic bag. It’s not like I’m drooling all over the cookie and then leaving it out on a tray for someone, here. I promise, the cookie is hermetically sealed in the bag!